Tending the Storm: What Crisis Asks of Us as Caregivers with Chloe Charbonneau

Crisis in the perinatal period doesn’t always look the way we expect. While many people imagine emergencies that are loud, dramatic, and impossible to ignore, the reality—especially in postpartum—is often much quieter. In a recent episode of the Sacred Window Podcast, host Christine Eck sat down with birth and postpartum doula Chloe Charbonneau to explore what crisis truly looks like during birth and the early weeks of parenthood, and how care providers can show up with compassion, grounding, and clarity.

Postpartum Crisis Is Often Quiet and Slow-Burning

Unlike the acute emergencies sometimes associated with birth—such as a shoulder dystocia or emergency cesarean—postpartum crisis tends to creep in gradually. Chloe describes it as subtle. Parents may not immediately recognize that they're struggling. A visitor may not see anything amiss at first glance.

Postpartum crisis can manifest as:

• Difficulty functioning day to day

• Disrupted sleep or appetite

• Lack of bonding with the baby

• Isolation

• Persistent thoughts of “I can’t do this” or “I miss my old life”

None of these feelings are unusual on their own. What matters is the baseline someone returns to after the difficult moments. Are they recovering emotionally after a stressful spell, or are they sinking deeper into overwhelm and hopelessness?

This distinction helps caregivers identify when someone is simply having a challenging day versus experiencing a deeper mental health concern.

The Power of Presence: How Care Providers Can Show Up

When working with families experiencing crisis, Chloe emphasizes one essential skill: grounded presence.

Rather than escalating the energy in the room with anxious questions or, conversely, dismissing someone's struggle with “everyone feels that way,” she focuses on slowing herself down internally.

Her approach includes:

• Getting quiet and centered

• Holding space without judgment

• Naming what she sees with compassion

• Sitting beside someone rather than trying to “fix”

• Inviting honest expression through gentle acknowledgment

Even simple validation—“This looks really hard”—can be profoundly relieving for a parent who feels they should be enjoying every moment.

As Christine notes, a regulated presence acts like medicine. When one person in the room is grounded, the nervous systems of everyone else naturally begin to harmonize.

Supporting the Often-Overlooked Partner

Chloe highlights that partners frequently experience their own version of crisis or disorientation in the transition to parenthood.

Common partner struggles include:

• Feeling disconnected from the baby

• Lacking the hormonal “feedback loop” the birthing parent has

• Doubting their abilities

• Feeling secondary or peripheral

Chloe makes a point to validate partners directly, especially when they make self-deprecating jokes like “I don’t know what I’m doing.” Naming what she sees—competence, effort, and tenderness—helps build their confidence.

She also suggests creating small daily rituals for bonding. One father she worked with made coffee every morning with his baby nearby, creating a gentle and meaningful one-on-one tradition that has lasted for months.

These moments support:

• Relationship building

• Nervous system regulation

• Shared joy

• Oxytocin release

• A sense of personal identity within parenting

Crucially, these rituals are not framed as “giving the other parent a break,” but as meaningful and deserved time for the partner.

Early Check-Ins and Resource-Sharing Matter

Crisis is much harder to support when it’s already escalated. Chloe encourages postpartum professionals to check in regularly—without overstepping—to give families an opening to share concerns before they grow.

Experienced doulas also serve as bridges to other professionals: lactation consultants, mental health providers, bodyworkers, or community groups. Parents often don’t know what support exists, and may feel ashamed to seek it out. Having someone offer connections with warmth and neutrality can be transformative.

The Well-Resourced Doula: Caring for the Caregiver

Holding space for others begins with being well-resourced yourself. Chloe is refreshingly honest about how essential this is and how imperfectly doulas sometimes manage it.

Her strategies include:

• Eating nourishing food and staying hydrated on long shifts

• Preparing ahead instead of pushing through depletion

• Leaning into community support

• Joining a doula collective for connection, mentorship, and shared wisdom

• Allowing others to hold space for her too

Perhaps the hardest skill of all, Chloe says, is learning when to say “no”—recognizing personal limits and honoring them so she can continue offering meaningful care.

A Collective Effort Toward Healing

Crisis in birth and postpartum isn’t a sign of failure; it’s a human response to a profound and often overwhelming life transition. With awareness, presence, and community support, families can navigate these moments with resilience—and care providers can serve as steady anchors along the way.

As Chloe and Christine remind us, when one person in the room stays grounded, everyone else has a path back to center. In the postpartum window, that grounding presence may be one of the most powerful gifts we can offer.

profound transitions of birth and postpartum. Chloe's work centers on creating environments that prioritize the mental and emotional wellbeing of parents and caregivers, whether through birth planning support, newborn care, feeding guidance, or compassionate education and resources. She believes deeply that each family's path is unique and walks alongside them with honor and presence.

Links:

website: www.steppingstonedoula.com

instagram: @‌steppingstonedoula

Are you feeling the call to know more about Conscious Postpartum Care?

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Podcast Music is Composed by Sara Emmitt, graduate of the Center for Sacred Window Studies. You can hear more of Sara’s incredible music at www.saraemmitt.com.